Hacking phones
by ESCotLoE
Summary: Hardison finds out something about Eliot and Parker, what should he do? Friendship story only.


A/N - This is my first foray into the Leverage fan fic genre. I hope you all like it.

Disclaimer - dont own them - wish i did (especially Eliot)

This was inspired by a conversation in one of the season three episodes. It takes place shortly after "The Inside Job" and contains some spoilers for that episode (although not serious episode-ruining spoilers of you choose to read this before watching).

Please read and review.

XOXOXO

Alec Hardison sat down on the lounge, placing his orange soda on the floor beside him and balancing his laptop on his knees. He proceeded to log into and access the different stats about the game he was about to start watching with Eliot and Nate.

The team had some downtime in between jobs and were enjoying to chance to relax and do the things they enjoyed best. Sophie had gone out shopping, the boys were going to watch the game on the multi-screen and Parker was… well, being Parker.

She has wandered in shortly before the kick off and sat cross legged on the coffee table. About 15 minutes into the game she got up and wandered in front of the big screen to the windowsill, then back to the table a couple of minutes later. The boys all shifted as she passed and craned their necks to see the TV each time. Five minutes after that she climbed over Eliot and Hardison to sit between him and Nate.

"Parker," Eliot growled, "if you don't stop blocking the game…" he left the threat hanging.

"But I'm bored" Parker whined.

"I put new game apps on your phone yesterday," Hardison offered absently, "play with those."

The game went more peacefully after that – aside from the occasional yelling at the ref or cheering when someone scored.

Just after half time Hardison heard a phone beep – recognising it as Eliot's, he asked, "are you going to get that?"

"Hmm?" Eliot wasn't paying attention, so focussed on the game, "oh." Eliot reached into his pocket for his phone. Still focused on the game he took a swig of his beer and glanced at the message.

Out of the corner of his eye Hardison saw him stiffen then choke a little on the drink. He turned slightly and saw that Eliot had frozen staring at the display on the phone. Concerned, he leant over to try to see the message; however his movement seemed to snap Eliot out of it. He looked up with wide eyes then glared at Parker and got up. Walking past Parker he growled, "there's something wrong with you" and left the office shaking his head and slamming the door in his wake.

Hardison looked from Eliot to Parker then back to the closed door, '_what in the hell…_' he though to himself. There wasn't much that would cause Eliot to walk out in the middle of a football game where his favourite team was playing, especially when he had a bet with Nate on the outcome.

Hardison frowned worried that it might be a serious issue, like a safety of the team issue or something, but then the comment to Parker didn't fit that scenario. Parker seemed just as confused as he did. She gave him a small shrug then turned back to the game on her phone.

'C_uriosity never killed this cat'_ Hardison thought to himself as he opened up a new program on his computer and deftly typed a few commands. He sat back and waited for the computer to access the messages received by Eliot's phone. A few pangs of guilt and apprehension came over him as he knew he was invading Eliot's privacy but he justified it to himself that if it was a team safety issue then they needed to know.

As the results came up Hardison was only mildly surprised that the last message had been from Parker's phone a couple of minutes ago… that must be it. Glancing briefly at Parker who was still absorbed in her phone (he wasn't sure if she was playing a game or what now, but he could see that it was just the one message she had sent) he opened the message.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT SEXTING NOW?

Hardison choked on his own drink and looked with wide eyes at Parker then back at the message jealousy surging. '_They were sexting?'_

Hardison didn't understand the reaction that Eliot had or the words to Parker until he heard Nate yell at the screen again. Of course he wouldn't want to be sexting with Parker while watching the game with a couple of guys. It would be a bit hard to hide that.

'_Oh god, is that why he left the room, were they doing it right now?'_

Hardison's imagination took off, imagining them with significant looks across the job meetings, sexting, right up to passionate embraces until he stopped himself before he would start to throw up.

Sick feeling in his stomach he looked at Parker, not sure how she would look. She didn't look any different but then emotions were always hard to gauge on Parker. He looked back at his laptop. Neither Parker nor Eliot had sent any further messages.

'_What could he/should he do about this?'_ Hardison thought to himself. He couldn't confront them, Parker would make no sense and he couldn't talk to her about relationship stuff anyway; he had tried and failed a number of times. _'Which was obviously why she had moved onto Eliot.' _Eliot on the other hand would just break his nose if he confronted him in an aggressive 'hey I saw her first, back off' kind of way.

Staring blankly at the football game he rolled it over in his mind, stopping himself each time his imagination took over and pictured them together doing something X-rated. Eventually he came up with the only real option open to him if he wanted to keep their friendship. He would take it like a man and give them his blessing. If Eliot was the one to make Parker happy, who was he to stand in their way?

Decision made, Hardison sighed and stood up, he would talk to Eliot first as he knew he couldn't talk to Parker right now as he would get too emotional (in a manly sort of way of course). Heading for the door he decided he would go down to the bar, he really needed a drink.

XOXOXOXO

Walking into the bar below Nates apartment and their offices, Hardison stopped as he spied Eliot sitting with his back to him on a bar stool watching one of the TVs which was set to the game they were watching above. Taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders Hardison walked over and sat down next to the hitter. Eliot didn't move or acknowledge him as he sat, but Hardison knew that the other man knew he was there, he always knew that was going on around him. He sat silently for a few minutes trying to muster up the courage to bring up 'the relationship'. He opened his mouth to start when Eliot spoke sharply.

"Can you believe that pass?" He asked a startled Hardison, "Guy throws like a girl"

"Uh… um… what?" Hardison didn't follow.

"The pass…" Eliot said, gesturing at the screen, "quarterback throws like a girl."

"Oh… um… yeah" Hardison replied lamely.

Eliot stared at him for a few moments almost like he was examining a weird bug, then shook his head and turned back to the TV.

The game was coming to the end, at which point Eliot would probably leave, '_Probably with Parker,' _he thought bitterly. It was now or never for the discussion. He tried for casual.

"So you and Parker, huh?" Hardison started casually.

"What?" Eliot replied, eyes still on the game.

"You and Parker… you know…?" Hardison fished.

"No I don't know Hardison. What are you talking about?" Eliot ground out, sounding annoyed.

"Hey, its ok man… I'm cool with it" Hardison said, catching on that Eliot wanted to keep it a secret.

Eliot was looking at him with the confused 'I'm looking at a crazy person' look again.

"You two… being together… its cool, I'm ok with it. I mean, if that's what makes Parker happy then I'm happy for her… and you… you know?" Hardison babbled on uncomfortable by the silence and the piercing look he was getting from the most dangerous man he knew. "I was a bit upset at first cause… you know… I thought you knew I was crushing on Parker and as brothers in crime and all, we would look out for each other in that sort of thing… but it's cool."

Hardison stopped and waited for a response. He got one just not what was expected.

Eliot started to laugh. Not just a chuckle, but a full on bend over hold your stomach belly laugh. Hardison was offended.

"Seriously?" Hardison questioned, affronted, "I pour my soul out to you and you laugh? That's cruel man."

Eliot laughed harder but held up a finger to forestall anything else. When he had calmed down a little he responded.

"You are as screwed up in the head as Parker, Hardison." Eliot chuckled.

Hardison frowned, not liking that Eliot has just called his - Hardison choked on the word – 'girlfriend', screwed up. He was still feeling a little protective over her.

"We're not together." Eliot explained with a shake of his head.

Hardison's mind went blank; he didn't understand what Eliot was saying. "What?"

"Par-ker - and - I – are – not - to-ge-ther." Eliot said enunciating each syllable slowly as if he was stupid.

"You're not?"

"No! Whatever gave you that idea?" Eliot asked starting to sound annoyed again. Although that could just be Eliot –he sounded annoyed approximately 97 percent of the time.

"Oh… you know… the significant looks,… she's always touching you,…"

"Poking bruises you mean." Eliot interrupted.

"Uh… you go to the gym together… the sexting." Hardison stopped, suddenly wishing the filter between his brain and his mouth was a little faster. He wasn't supposed to know about the text message.

"The sexti-…?... Hardison what did you do?" Eliot growled menacingly.

"Well …I, uh… I hacked your phone messages and read one from Parker to you about sexting each other." Hardison blurted out in a rush.

"You hacked my phone?" Eliot said in a quiet but deadly voice.

Hardison knew he was walking dangerous ground here. He shrugged, raising his hand and said "Hacker."

"Dammit Hardison! You don't hack your own crew!" Eliot looked really pissed. "It's just the same as conning your own crew!" Eliot stood abruptly causing his barstool to scrape loudly on the floor. Hardison jumped up ready to take flight if Eliot went for him. Eliot froze as he saw Hardison preparing to be hit then sighed and slumped his shoulders a little.

"You want something to drink?" Eliot asked turning towards the bar.

Hardison sat back down on the stool and waited while Eliot ordered two beers, mulling over the other mans reaction. He had seen how pissed he was at Sophie when she had pulled her con on the team with the Davids'. Hell, he had been pissed at her. How was what he did that much different? It was still a violation of trust.

"What have you learned from this Hardison?" Eliot asked as he walked back to the table and pushed a beer towards Hardison and sat down.

"That I shouldn't use my impressive talents to hack your phone and invade your privacy?" Hardison asked hoping for a little humour.

"Yeah, and…?" Eliot prompted.

"That I have a really over active imagination?" Hardison asked again, feeling unsure.

"And…?" Eliot prompted again.

"Uh..." Hardison didn't know what else Eliot wanted him to say. He looked at the other man hoping for a clue.

"Dammit Hardison," Eliot said but this time without the usual frustration in his voice, "I know you have a thing for Parker, so even if I had wanted to go there… and trust me, I don't… I wouldn't have done anything without talking to you first, you're like my brother man. I'm insulted that you think I would do that to you."

Hardison didn't know what to say. He had often thought of Eliot as a big brother, albeit a bit of a mean and scary one, but he had never dreamed that Eliot would feel the same way, he always hid his emotions, other than anger that was.

"And Parker is like a kooky little sister," Eliot continued, "she annoys the hell out of me but in the end I don't really mind." Eliot stopped, looking chagrined then directing a sharp look at Hardison. "You can't tell her I said that, or you will be eating through a straw for a month."

Hardison shook his head and raised his hands in surrender, trying to look earnest.

"I know Parker feels the same way about me too… like a brother I mean." Eliot finished with a squint at his logic.

"But she said she wanted to sext you?" Hardison objected.

"No she didn't," Eliot replied with forced patience, "she doesn't even know what sexting is. She heard it from a guy at Wakefield Agricultural who thought she was his internet girlfriend or lover or something. She asked me about it in the middle of trying to escape and I told her that I wasn't having that conversation with her."

"So Parker doesn't have a thing for you?" Hardison asked hope swelling his chest a little.

"No!" Eliot let out an explosive breath, "geez, what have I been saying?"

Hardison's face slowly spread into a grin, imagination taking off again, only this time it was much more pleasant, how it used to be in his mind before the unfortunate idea of a relationship between Eliot and Parker had popped in there.

"There's something wrong with both of you," Eliot muttered seeing that Hardison was in his own world, "you're a perfect match for each other." He turned back to watch the end of the game.

Hardison absently stood and turned to head back upstairs to find Parker. Maybe she would sit next to him for the last few minutes of the game.

Eliot shook his head as he noticed Hardison get up and go. "Hey Hardison…" he called after him with a smirk and a chuckle, "why don't you go explain to Parker what sexting is?"

Hardison froze then turned back to look at Eliot with a deer in a headlights kind of look.

Eliot laughed.

XOXOXOX

Well i hope you all liked it - I couldnt stop laughing when I watched the episode and tried to imagine what that conversation would look like.

I have to say I really like the dynamic between Hardison and Eliot. I think they produce some of the funnniest lines in the show. I only hope I did them some justice.

Thanks for reading, please feel free to review - love hearing what you all think.


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